Archive for September 9, 2006

The Modified Golden Rule Policy

September 9, 2006

Got a bee in my bonnet several weeks ago, and though you might enjoy a little rant…  This is not serious, and I did not come NEAR to going after everyone I could have (the GOP should be very afraid):  feel free to write me a few ideas of your own…  and pass it along if you wish.   

Modified Golden Rule Policy  

I would like to propose a new policy in our dealings around the world: Let us call it the ‘Modified Golden Rule Policy.’Under MGRP, the USA will treat others exactly as we are treated. Simple and direct. This policy has the bonus that if the ‘bad actor’ gets caught and convicted, they KNOW that they will get the same as they gave out.

For example, terrorists who are shooting at our troops will be shot at, regardless of where they are hiding, be it a Mosque, Church, Holy Ground, Indian Burial site, or civilian home. If you shoot out the window, we will flatten the building. (Wonder how much cooperation civilians would be willing to give at that point?) Collateral damage? Under MGRP, we will take the same caution as our opponents to prevent any: in this case, none. War is h_ll, get used to it.

Mexico: we put troops, tanks, fences and land mines on the border (like they do their own southern border) and shoot to kill, as they do. We violate their territorial integrity at will in pursuit of criminals (as they do today when guarding drug shipments into the USA), and reduce their foreign aid by $10,000 for every citizen of theirs we catch within our borders. (wonder how long it would take for Mexico to guard their own northern border as well?)

Saudi Arabia: All their women must wear bikinis in public when in the USA, and the Koran is prohibited (just being funny on this one) UN: Percent of annual dues paid will be the same as percentage of votes we win, or maybe the percentage of countries who support our initiatives. Have to think about them a bit more…Iran: Every rocket launched into Israel equals one conventional bomb dropped randomly in Tehran. Every IED exploded in Iraq equals another bomb in a major Iranian city. Every US soldier killed by terrorists whose funding comes from Iran equals one cruise missile into a power generating facility. Let them try to refine uranium by donkey treadmill!

North Korea: every nuclear bomb exploded or missile tested means the USA will hunt down and sink one military submarine, ship, or airplane. Every assertion that we are declaring war on them will be met with the sinking or capture of one non military ship.

All two-bit banana republics who rail against the USA (Yes, Hugo, this means you): Foreign aid reduced $10,000 by number of citizens caught illegally in USA, plus by $1,000,000 every time they voted against us in the UN within the past two years. This means Hugo might actually owe us some refunds…

Closer to home, we might want to try out MGRP on the Main Stream Liberal Media: for every slanted news report they lose one station license for a month. For every op ed piece they foist on the airwaves as news, they lose a station license permanently. Report the facts keep your agenda to yourself!

For Elitist Liberals (think Mikey Moore): for every capitalist pig company that they rail against but actually own stock in, loss of the right to live in the USA for one month, going back five years.

For the democrats: for every unfounded accusation, one child loses a government provided school lunch for one day (this one could really cause hunger in America After all, they accuse the GOP of this anyway). Every time they vote to tax the elderly, or limit Social Security, they lose a like percentage of their own retirement benefits (this one works for all politicians, come to think of it). Every time they break a law, they actually get punished for it (what a concept) instead of merely correcting the fraudulent paperwork once caught (Yes, dirty harry, this means you).

For the Supreme Court: every house taken for private development results in the loss of one house owned by a member of that body for the same purpose… starting with those that voted in favor of that law.

While on the topic of Eminent Domain:

For every politician who votes to take houses from citizens to give to private companies: they are the first to lose their houses at the same percentage of market value to that developer.

For every developer who wants to take land using Eminent Domain: Force them to pay 150% of market value (as determined by the sales in that area just like any real estate transaction) to the owners they would like to steal from. If they cannot make a profit at that rate, do not take the land! Why should the municipality be paying for this property? The developer is the one making the real profits! /soapbox

Smokers: never mind, they are already doing it to themselves

Criminals:Rapists: you guessed it… in whatever orifice they violated. This would have to follow a below the waist/above the waist rule…Hit and run drivers: same injuries, with the same wait for medical services as their victims.Murderers: In Texas, we already ‘do unto,’ we would just use whatever implement the criminal used and cut the appeals process much shorter.Enron type executives: confiscation of assets (and distribution to the victims), and a life relegated (after prison) to social security.I could go on, and on, and on, but you get the idea…Anyone have ideas for other MGRP justice?